Yesterday was like every other Tuesday, I woke up at 5:15 am and went to my spin class and headed home to start dinner in the crock pot. Yesterday I was unusually tired so I had a bit of a lazy day. Last night I ran to Wal-Mart to return a movie we rented and to get Derek some more Weight Watchers ice cream. On my way home I was completely oblivious to the fact that one of the soldiers in Derek's unit spotted me and he was with his baby's mama who is also a soldier. They proceeded to follow me home, little did I know they were following me home to show off their new baby. Really? You are gonna follow home a mother who lost her child nearly 8 months ago and show off your newborn??? I went in the house and hid until they left and left Derek to deal with them. I know it was probably wasn't the nicest or politest way to deal with that, but my heart just couldn't take it and I didn't want them to be victims of my word vomit because who knows what would come out of my mouth at this point. I know it has been nearly 8 months and I'm dealing with each day a little better, but the kicker is, this girl didn't even want her baby, she never intended to get pregnant. I wanted my son, he was planned and longed for, I feel sick that a woman who didn't want their child is beaming and bragging, and yet I who wanted my son very much and fought for him as every mother should, and I am left to pick up the pieces of my life. I guess I should say common sense isn't all that common, if they had any common sense they would not have followed me home.
Good news I didn't eat my feelings last night, I processed the reasons I was angry and today I am moving on. Today God is still good and I get to start afresh and ask Jesus to guide my day today.
On a happier note this week I lost 0.2 pounds and I have lost a grand total of 54.6 pounds. I know I am not on some weight loss show and I don't have a personal trainer to help me lose weight left and right, but slow and steady wins the race. I am eating real food, finding new ways to manage my stress and getting excited about what the future holds for me!!!