Friday, March 4, 2011


You know when you wake up and all you want to do is sleep, those days when all you want to do is roll over and hit the snooze button eight hundred times.  Today was one of those days.  However, I did not give into the voice inside my head that kept saying sleep the day away, I got up and started my morning routine with Miss Faith.  The amazing thing is, it is those mornings where Jesus meets you just where you are at.  I have been reading this devotional on grief.  It was written by a woman who had lost a daughter, it is a year long devotional based on finding hope in the midst of pain.  Today I decided to read the story behind the book, come to find out the author lost not only 1 child but 2, mind blowing, how can someone survive that, I wondered if life would ever be functional again with my heart left in shambles after the death of my Zechariah, but to lose 2 children, I can't even fathom.    Two things profound stuck out to me this morning.  The author was speaking of her deep pain to her sister-in-law who had lost her previous husband to a car accident only 2 weeks after marrying, she asked her sister-in-law how you do it, get past the pain, and her response was simply,  "Manna."  In Exodus we read about how God provided enough Manna for each day to sustain the Israelites while the wandered in the wilderness, and just as God provided Manna for the Israelites he will provide for me each day and sustain me.  The second thing was that was just what I needed today was verse that was the topic of today's devotional.  Lamentations 3: 13, 19-22:

He shot his arrow deep into my heart.  The thoughts of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words.  I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.  Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends!  By his Mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.

Yet I still dare to hope, that describes where I am now, I still dare to hope each day, God kept me from destruction, he has a plan and a path for me, and I will have hope because His unfailing love never ends.  I have also said day after day that my Jesus is still the same even if my heart hurts beyond measure.  In all honesty I was probably convincing myself of that until I believed it wholeheartedly, which it does now ring true in my heart of hearts.   So today, I reach for the Manna that will sustain me and even though I grieve my loss, I dare to hope!

1 comment:

  1. You are a strong and brave woman! I sure do miss you and Faith here. Zechariah was very strong and was so cute when I met him! You are an awesome mom and lady!!! Remember that:) Have a great day with Miss Faith.