Thursday, April 28, 2011

Oh forget it I will just eat the fries...

So last night Derek, Faith and I had to run some errands, we are tying up the loose ends of our time in Texas, in the process we decided to head to Chick-Fil-A for dinner.  As we were driving in the car I was scanning the Weight Watchers Dining Out Companion.  At one point in our conversation Derek and I got onto the topic of one of our friends who had their baby yesterday, Derek procedded to ask me how I felt about that, and we continued to talk.  I realized as we were pulling into the parking lot that all of a sudden the plan I had for the Chargrilled Chicken Salad went right out the window and the french fries flew in the window just like that!  All of a sudden the light switched turned on and I realized I was not managing my feelings well, I was going to manage them with french fries.  Feelings noted, I felt sad, I wanted to drown those feelings in french fries.  Well, I found my resolve and stuck to my orignial plan, wahoo me!!!!!!  Note to self, continue to face my stuff instead of stuffing my face.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Total Overhaul

As our time in Texas draws near, I find myself cleaning, and by cleaning I mean a total over haul and by over haul I mean throwing stuff in the trash left and right.  I also found myself looking at myself and my life, I have to say my emotional well being for sure has needed a complete overhaul! I think I have expected a lot of myself over the nearly 9 months since Zechariah has died.  Life has been hard, I have had little time to grieve between taking care of Faith and life having to move on, however, I have made progress.  This week I have sat and told myself that I am blessed.  I have had to opportunity to have children, to carry them within me, to experience pregnancy, to love them and care for them.  I have friends that want children desperately and have never been blessed the way I have.  So I have chosen to chose joy instead of grief, peace instead of discontentment.  Unfortunately when  we moved here we were known as the family that has the sick baby, now we are know as the one who's baby died...Well, good news is God's grace is new every morning and we are given the opportunity to move and start life fresh...From now on I hope to be known as Tabatha, not the girl who's baby died, nothing else nothing less, just me.

On a different note, I had this crazy internal battle going on this weekend.  If you have never been fat or struggled with your weight you can't really understand, but sometimes food just consumes those of us who are struggling to loose the extra weight!  For whatever reason this weekend all I could think about was Doritos, sitting down watching a movie and opening a bag of regular (not baked) Doritos and eating them without measuring them. My will won out eventually!  However, sometimes, on the road to health it is just plain hard to get in the groove and stay there.  So friends, if the Doritos are calling your name, lace up those shoes and go run, bike, swim, do whatever you have to do to dodge those thoughts left and right, the new smaller you will thank you!

Monday, April 25, 2011

He Is Risen, He has Risen Indeed!!!!

Boy have I missed you all!  I have been busy, busy, busy!  The time has passed me by with all the Easter activities and the process of getting ready to move.  This weekend we took Faith to the Easter Egg Hunt on Post, then to see the new movie Rio (which she loved), and then home to have an egg dying extravaganza! 

I had another successful weigh in this Saturday at Weight Watchers, I lost 2.6 pounds for a total of, wait for it...wait for it...62.6!!!! Not only have I lost weight but I am finding myself again.  Last night I ran for the first time in months because of my neck and knee issues.  I was reluctant at first but once I got my rhythm I ran and I loved it...granted I ran head first into the Texas wind last night and for all of you who don't know what that is like it can be a bit blustery, but I made and it and it made for some good resistance training!  Tonight I am heading to the gym for my workout and then to spin class tomorrow!

Here are some pics of the wonderful weekend we had!


Happy Easter, He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Amazing New Developments!

So life has taken a surprising turn for the better!  We found out yesterday that we were officially approved to leave San Antonio early, June 1st to be exact, but little did we know it would get better!  Derek came home and said "you might want to sit down for this one, we are leaving May 10th."  I was like sit down, I want to jump up and down!!!

San Antonio has been a God send.  Jesus knew exactly where we needed to be when we needed it.  From the doctors, to the people we have met we have been blessed!  To some people it may seem like we just want to pack up and leave but for the Reese family this move is bittersweet.  I speak for both Derek and I knowing we are both on the same page, we are so ready to move on and not have the constant reminder of how sad we have been for the last few months.  The grief that has rocked our family, not just the grief a of losing a child, but the grief of never being able to have another child, the grief of not really knowing how to move on.

The best way I know how to deal with it all is to say that moving gives us a clean slate.  Today I was reminded that we are given challenges so that we may choose to believe that God is still good, but in that same breath we are given the opportunity to doubt, and lately that has been where I am, doubtful.  I realize day by day, life is always going to have struggles, and we have choices how we will deal with it.  Right now I chose to move on, continue to lay my doubts, my heart, my pain at the feet of Jesus.  Moving away from San Antonio won't make it better, but it is another step in putting the sadness of the last year to rest.

I heard this on K-Love the other day and it was the perfect description of what we have been going through the last few months.  Have a wonderful day friends, enjoy every moment, you never know what the future holds.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Exciting News...and Weigh In Day!

Hi y'all, so I am sorry I have been lazy on blogging the last few weeks.  It seems I have been going through these seasons since Zech passed where I do great for a few weeks, then I get into a funk, but I decided today is the day, I have a few exciting things on the horizon to share with you!!!!!!

First off today was weigh in day, so I forced myself to get my hiney out of my nice comfortable bed and head to my most favorite Weight Watcher meeting.  Last week I had a 1 pound gain and I am pretty sure it was water retention since I had stayed on plan all week so I knew this week had to be better...and it WAS better!  I lost 3.8 this week making my grand total losed 59.6, only 0.4 away from hitting the 60 pound mark.  You know what else is exciting I am in the 180's now!!!!!!! I haven't been in the 180's since before college!!!  So exciting things are happening my oh my!

Also good news on the home front, Derek was told that we will be able to leave on June 1st, so we are just waiting for him to get his orders and Derek will start clearing Fort Sam Houston on May 18th.  I am so excited it is killing me, I can't wait to leave here, there are reminders of Zechariah all around here, and not that I don't want to remember, I just want to be able to have a repreve from the hurt of it all!

There are a few fun things happening in April and through May so hopefully it will make the time go by faster.  Tomorrow we are heading over to the main post to celebrate Fiesta, I am excited to enjoy this time, and then May 1st, the hospital Zech was in while here in Texas is having a remembrance service for all the families who lost the children last year, so we are looking at it as a way of finding a little more closure before we leave. 

So friends brighter things are yet to come this summer and on into the fall, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, visits with family all await us this summer and a new place to call home is just around the corner!  I can't wait for the fall, I am believing that the fall will blow great things in our direction, just as the leaves change and the wind picks up, the fall winds will blow new and better things into our lives...