Thursday, July 28, 2011
Excercise, I think so!
Okay so I have had a hard time blogging lately, keeping up on everything except my house, resting, catching a breather since moving and then Grandma dying and then the sudden trip back to Cali. So, with all that being said I have been averaging 1 workout per week. This week, I decided to make a change, to start getting more workouts in each week, no more excuses! Last night I was reminded of the good ol' Bob Harper quote, "Stand up and finish what you started." I needed to remember that and take it to heart. Truth be told I have been kinda wavering lately. I have been tracking my food and eating pretty healthy but I could be doing better, especially if I am going to slack on exercise. So last night I laced up my Saucony's and ran like it was the easiest thing I have done all week (even though I had to keep telling myself to put one foot in front of the other)! I am proud to say that today I forced myself to do my yoga video. Let me tell you all, if you don't want to walk when your done do this workout! Just kidding it is not that bad, but it was definitely hard and I got a good workout in but I am indeed sore from last night and tonight. Note to self keep working out it makes life and workouts way easier!!!! So friends lace up those shoes, go for a run, take a walk, do something today is the perfect day to start!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Good Bye Texas, Hello Washington!
Hi y'all, well we finally made it to Washington! The drive was beautiful, and vacation was fabulous! We spent time in Huntington Beach visiting my sister in law and her fiance, went to Disneyland, headed up and spent time with my nieces and nephews in Manteca, visited with old friends, and then headed up to Redding to spend time with my in-laws. I do have to say that I have still been losing weight since we have been on vacation and traveling. I haven't gained any and proud to say I have lost 71.2 pounds. It has been hard and taken a lot of mental rehearsing and compromise as far as food is concerned, but I am now only 20 pounds from goal!
Washington is certainly beautiful, and while it is beautiful it is dredging up old feelings of Germany. Between the rain and the beauty of the trees it is stirring up feelings from just last year and our fight to get Zechariah back to the US. I certainly don't want to forget Zechariah or pretend he was never with us, I just don't want to be that girl who's son died. That is who I was in Texas, and I don't want that for my time here in Washington. I want to be the girl who is being healed, restored, and living life to the fullest.
As I sit and write this I am feeling a bit anxious about our future. We found out Derek will most likely go to Afghanistan in March (if you are reading this and are on my Facebook, please don't post any of this we are not ready to tell Derek's parents), and we still don't have housing. Not having housing is not what is stressing me out it is the finances that have me stressed. I don't want to go financially in the hole for this move, Derek and I pretty much live on the if you charge it pay it right away motto, but I just keep going where is the money for all this coming from! I also have to keep my mind off of this deployment. I already lost part of my heart this year when Zechariah died all I can think about is what happens if something happens to Derek. I guess that brings me to church yesterday. On Saturday, Derek and I took to google to find Foursquare church's in Tacoma. We attended a Foursquare church in Manteca, CA, as well as an Assembly of God church, both are pretty much the same in beliefs, the difference is how each denomination appoints their pastors. Anyways so we found the church Puget Sound Christian Center. It was fabulous friends. The minute we walked in there was a wonderful guy named Steve who gave us a tour, and when we had Faith all checked in to kids church we headed over to the sanctuary for worship. While we were worshiping a guy came up to us shook our hands and started talking to us, low and behold this young nice guy was the pastor. When worship was nearly done he went and started talking about how he felt someone was struggling with fear, if it maybe about upcoming deployments, finances, and what the future holds, and needed to know that God wanted to take those fears and wants our complete and utter surrender. Those words spoke truly to my heart. The sermon was on surrender, and boy did I need to hear it. After the service was over we ran into the pastor again and he said, those words were for you. We never told him Derek would most likely be deployed, it was Jesus, speaking to us through this man who was willing to be Jesus' mouth piece.
So today, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I will surrender it to my Savior, and pray that I can make it through all this unscathed!
Washington is certainly beautiful, and while it is beautiful it is dredging up old feelings of Germany. Between the rain and the beauty of the trees it is stirring up feelings from just last year and our fight to get Zechariah back to the US. I certainly don't want to forget Zechariah or pretend he was never with us, I just don't want to be that girl who's son died. That is who I was in Texas, and I don't want that for my time here in Washington. I want to be the girl who is being healed, restored, and living life to the fullest.
As I sit and write this I am feeling a bit anxious about our future. We found out Derek will most likely go to Afghanistan in March (if you are reading this and are on my Facebook, please don't post any of this we are not ready to tell Derek's parents), and we still don't have housing. Not having housing is not what is stressing me out it is the finances that have me stressed. I don't want to go financially in the hole for this move, Derek and I pretty much live on the if you charge it pay it right away motto, but I just keep going where is the money for all this coming from! I also have to keep my mind off of this deployment. I already lost part of my heart this year when Zechariah died all I can think about is what happens if something happens to Derek. I guess that brings me to church yesterday. On Saturday, Derek and I took to google to find Foursquare church's in Tacoma. We attended a Foursquare church in Manteca, CA, as well as an Assembly of God church, both are pretty much the same in beliefs, the difference is how each denomination appoints their pastors. Anyways so we found the church Puget Sound Christian Center. It was fabulous friends. The minute we walked in there was a wonderful guy named Steve who gave us a tour, and when we had Faith all checked in to kids church we headed over to the sanctuary for worship. While we were worshiping a guy came up to us shook our hands and started talking to us, low and behold this young nice guy was the pastor. When worship was nearly done he went and started talking about how he felt someone was struggling with fear, if it maybe about upcoming deployments, finances, and what the future holds, and needed to know that God wanted to take those fears and wants our complete and utter surrender. Those words spoke truly to my heart. The sermon was on surrender, and boy did I need to hear it. After the service was over we ran into the pastor again and he said, those words were for you. We never told him Derek would most likely be deployed, it was Jesus, speaking to us through this man who was willing to be Jesus' mouth piece.
So today, I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I will surrender it to my Savior, and pray that I can make it through all this unscathed!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Oh forget it I will just eat the fries...
So last night Derek, Faith and I had to run some errands, we are tying up the loose ends of our time in Texas, in the process we decided to head to Chick-Fil-A for dinner. As we were driving in the car I was scanning the Weight Watchers Dining Out Companion. At one point in our conversation Derek and I got onto the topic of one of our friends who had their baby yesterday, Derek procedded to ask me how I felt about that, and we continued to talk. I realized as we were pulling into the parking lot that all of a sudden the plan I had for the Chargrilled Chicken Salad went right out the window and the french fries flew in the window just like that! All of a sudden the light switched turned on and I realized I was not managing my feelings well, I was going to manage them with french fries. Feelings noted, I felt sad, I wanted to drown those feelings in french fries. Well, I found my resolve and stuck to my orignial plan, wahoo me!!!!!! Note to self, continue to face my stuff instead of stuffing my face.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Total Overhaul
As our time in Texas draws near, I find myself cleaning, and by cleaning I mean a total over haul and by over haul I mean throwing stuff in the trash left and right. I also found myself looking at myself and my life, I have to say my emotional well being for sure has needed a complete overhaul! I think I have expected a lot of myself over the nearly 9 months since Zechariah has died. Life has been hard, I have had little time to grieve between taking care of Faith and life having to move on, however, I have made progress. This week I have sat and told myself that I am blessed. I have had to opportunity to have children, to carry them within me, to experience pregnancy, to love them and care for them. I have friends that want children desperately and have never been blessed the way I have. So I have chosen to chose joy instead of grief, peace instead of discontentment. Unfortunately when we moved here we were known as the family that has the sick baby, now we are know as the one who's baby died...Well, good news is God's grace is new every morning and we are given the opportunity to move and start life fresh...From now on I hope to be known as Tabatha, not the girl who's baby died, nothing else nothing less, just me.
On a different note, I had this crazy internal battle going on this weekend. If you have never been fat or struggled with your weight you can't really understand, but sometimes food just consumes those of us who are struggling to loose the extra weight! For whatever reason this weekend all I could think about was Doritos, sitting down watching a movie and opening a bag of regular (not baked) Doritos and eating them without measuring them. My will won out eventually! However, sometimes, on the road to health it is just plain hard to get in the groove and stay there. So friends, if the Doritos are calling your name, lace up those shoes and go run, bike, swim, do whatever you have to do to dodge those thoughts left and right, the new smaller you will thank you!
On a different note, I had this crazy internal battle going on this weekend. If you have never been fat or struggled with your weight you can't really understand, but sometimes food just consumes those of us who are struggling to loose the extra weight! For whatever reason this weekend all I could think about was Doritos, sitting down watching a movie and opening a bag of regular (not baked) Doritos and eating them without measuring them. My will won out eventually! However, sometimes, on the road to health it is just plain hard to get in the groove and stay there. So friends, if the Doritos are calling your name, lace up those shoes and go run, bike, swim, do whatever you have to do to dodge those thoughts left and right, the new smaller you will thank you!
Monday, April 25, 2011
He Is Risen, He has Risen Indeed!!!!
Boy have I missed you all! I have been busy, busy, busy! The time has passed me by with all the Easter activities and the process of getting ready to move. This weekend we took Faith to the Easter Egg Hunt on Post, then to see the new movie Rio (which she loved), and then home to have an egg dying extravaganza!
I had another successful weigh in this Saturday at Weight Watchers, I lost 2.6 pounds for a total of, wait for it...wait for it...62.6!!!! Not only have I lost weight but I am finding myself again. Last night I ran for the first time in months because of my neck and knee issues. I was reluctant at first but once I got my rhythm I ran and I loved it...granted I ran head first into the Texas wind last night and for all of you who don't know what that is like it can be a bit blustery, but I made and it and it made for some good resistance training! Tonight I am heading to the gym for my workout and then to spin class tomorrow!
Here are some pics of the wonderful weekend we had!
Happy Easter, He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Amazing New Developments!
So life has taken a surprising turn for the better! We found out yesterday that we were officially approved to leave San Antonio early, June 1st to be exact, but little did we know it would get better! Derek came home and said "you might want to sit down for this one, we are leaving May 10th." I was like sit down, I want to jump up and down!!!
San Antonio has been a God send. Jesus knew exactly where we needed to be when we needed it. From the doctors, to the people we have met we have been blessed! To some people it may seem like we just want to pack up and leave but for the Reese family this move is bittersweet. I speak for both Derek and I knowing we are both on the same page, we are so ready to move on and not have the constant reminder of how sad we have been for the last few months. The grief that has rocked our family, not just the grief a of losing a child, but the grief of never being able to have another child, the grief of not really knowing how to move on.
The best way I know how to deal with it all is to say that moving gives us a clean slate. Today I was reminded that we are given challenges so that we may choose to believe that God is still good, but in that same breath we are given the opportunity to doubt, and lately that has been where I am, doubtful. I realize day by day, life is always going to have struggles, and we have choices how we will deal with it. Right now I chose to move on, continue to lay my doubts, my heart, my pain at the feet of Jesus. Moving away from San Antonio won't make it better, but it is another step in putting the sadness of the last year to rest.
I heard this on K-Love the other day and it was the perfect description of what we have been going through the last few months. Have a wonderful day friends, enjoy every moment, you never know what the future holds.
San Antonio has been a God send. Jesus knew exactly where we needed to be when we needed it. From the doctors, to the people we have met we have been blessed! To some people it may seem like we just want to pack up and leave but for the Reese family this move is bittersweet. I speak for both Derek and I knowing we are both on the same page, we are so ready to move on and not have the constant reminder of how sad we have been for the last few months. The grief that has rocked our family, not just the grief a of losing a child, but the grief of never being able to have another child, the grief of not really knowing how to move on.
The best way I know how to deal with it all is to say that moving gives us a clean slate. Today I was reminded that we are given challenges so that we may choose to believe that God is still good, but in that same breath we are given the opportunity to doubt, and lately that has been where I am, doubtful. I realize day by day, life is always going to have struggles, and we have choices how we will deal with it. Right now I chose to move on, continue to lay my doubts, my heart, my pain at the feet of Jesus. Moving away from San Antonio won't make it better, but it is another step in putting the sadness of the last year to rest.
I heard this on K-Love the other day and it was the perfect description of what we have been going through the last few months. Have a wonderful day friends, enjoy every moment, you never know what the future holds.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Exciting News...and Weigh In Day!
Hi y'all, so I am sorry I have been lazy on blogging the last few weeks. It seems I have been going through these seasons since Zech passed where I do great for a few weeks, then I get into a funk, but I decided today is the day, I have a few exciting things on the horizon to share with you!!!!!!
First off today was weigh in day, so I forced myself to get my hiney out of my nice comfortable bed and head to my most favorite Weight Watcher meeting. Last week I had a 1 pound gain and I am pretty sure it was water retention since I had stayed on plan all week so I knew this week had to be better...and it WAS better! I lost 3.8 this week making my grand total losed 59.6, only 0.4 away from hitting the 60 pound mark. You know what else is exciting I am in the 180's now!!!!!!! I haven't been in the 180's since before college!!! So exciting things are happening my oh my!
Also good news on the home front, Derek was told that we will be able to leave on June 1st, so we are just waiting for him to get his orders and Derek will start clearing Fort Sam Houston on May 18th. I am so excited it is killing me, I can't wait to leave here, there are reminders of Zechariah all around here, and not that I don't want to remember, I just want to be able to have a repreve from the hurt of it all!
There are a few fun things happening in April and through May so hopefully it will make the time go by faster. Tomorrow we are heading over to the main post to celebrate Fiesta, I am excited to enjoy this time, and then May 1st, the hospital Zech was in while here in Texas is having a remembrance service for all the families who lost the children last year, so we are looking at it as a way of finding a little more closure before we leave.
So friends brighter things are yet to come this summer and on into the fall, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, visits with family all await us this summer and a new place to call home is just around the corner! I can't wait for the fall, I am believing that the fall will blow great things in our direction, just as the leaves change and the wind picks up, the fall winds will blow new and better things into our lives...
First off today was weigh in day, so I forced myself to get my hiney out of my nice comfortable bed and head to my most favorite Weight Watcher meeting. Last week I had a 1 pound gain and I am pretty sure it was water retention since I had stayed on plan all week so I knew this week had to be better...and it WAS better! I lost 3.8 this week making my grand total losed 59.6, only 0.4 away from hitting the 60 pound mark. You know what else is exciting I am in the 180's now!!!!!!! I haven't been in the 180's since before college!!! So exciting things are happening my oh my!
Also good news on the home front, Derek was told that we will be able to leave on June 1st, so we are just waiting for him to get his orders and Derek will start clearing Fort Sam Houston on May 18th. I am so excited it is killing me, I can't wait to leave here, there are reminders of Zechariah all around here, and not that I don't want to remember, I just want to be able to have a repreve from the hurt of it all!
There are a few fun things happening in April and through May so hopefully it will make the time go by faster. Tomorrow we are heading over to the main post to celebrate Fiesta, I am excited to enjoy this time, and then May 1st, the hospital Zech was in while here in Texas is having a remembrance service for all the families who lost the children last year, so we are looking at it as a way of finding a little more closure before we leave.
So friends brighter things are yet to come this summer and on into the fall, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, visits with family all await us this summer and a new place to call home is just around the corner! I can't wait for the fall, I am believing that the fall will blow great things in our direction, just as the leaves change and the wind picks up, the fall winds will blow new and better things into our lives...
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