Okay y'all so you know when you have a scab and sometimes the scab comes off and there is no bleeding, just fresh skin underneath, all the while the wound is healing, but if you are to bump or scratch that fresh wound it is like a gaping wound that bleeds and bleeds...that is how my heart feels right now! I feel like I have been on the mend and I have been working through my grief daily. Two weeks ago when I ran into the family from Texas with the child who has the same CHD disease as our Zech it was like ripping off the scab that had started to form over my heart and the skin underneath was fresh but healing...but then today happened. Before I explain it I have to tell you how ironic that Derek and I started our grief share class today. So after church Derek dropped off at the front door so I can run into Old Navy and exchange a shirt that didn't fit well...guess who was there, the family from Texas. I almost had a panic attack right in the middle of Old Navy. Right then and there my wounds was gushing, I took a some cleansing breathes and paid for my items as quickly as possible...I feel like every time I see these people along with some other people from Texas and even from home at times, they look at me like I have the plague, or with sympathy or like I am pathetic. I feel so sad when this happens because I feel like I have dealt with Zechariah's life and death really quite well. I feel like I am a strong woman, with strong faith. I just want people to see grief is not the plague you don't catch it but we will all have to deal with it at some point!
I do have good news to tell you...I fought the urge to drown my sorrows in Cinnabon! I just said no to eating my feelings and my thighs are thanking me! I am facing my stuff instead of stuffing my face!!!
Life is beautiful make sure and tell your loved ones how much you love them because life on this earth is short!
Blessings, Tab
Thank you for writing the blog so we can all understand your thoughts and feelings..
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