Tomorrow is the the day that changed our families life forever. The day that Derek and I chose to turn off the life support for our sweet Zechariah. There have been many moments the last few days that I have had the urge to go and sit on the floor of the pantry and eat Oreos. I however have not done that. I have recognized my feelings and moved on. I have not medicated those feelings with food. I want to honor my son and his memory by being healthy, after all, he didn't have a choice in regards to his health, but I have a choice. I have been choosing to live my truth as well as living a life where I am present and to do that it means feeling those painful feelings.
I truly believe Matthew West song "Strong Enough" describes my last few years.
Good news is God is truly strong enough to meet my needs, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I just need to believe that God has not forgotten me, which I do, but in the midst of the excruciating pain it has been easy to forget. I choose to remember that when the rains and storms come there is always a rainbow at the end of it all.